Read PDF Decide (14 Stories of True Love, No. 4)

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Yes, we realized 3 months in, broke up, got back together and stayed together for another 3 years, we were 18 so a dead-end relationship was fine. But I wanted to adopt children and he wanted his own. I wanted to pursue higher education, then make 6 figures and own a big house in the suburbs, and he eventually dropped out of college and works at Autozone with no further goals.

So we stayed together until we fell out of love. It may take a while before you're actually over it.

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My ex pretty much. He was honestly incredible and the nicest person I ever dated. But the big deal breaker was his general commitment issues and not wanting to deal with them. Like we dated for 1. I by no means expect a husband and kids right now. To be honest, I still do think about him and wish to be together. Be realistic about what your future would've looked like. I had a very passionate, whirlwind romance with a motorcycle riding, Jon Snow looking DJ who partied a lot. He did not want the responsibility of committing to someone like me, and I did not want to drag his life down a path he would regret.

He made me feel so alive. A year and a half later and I still wonder what could have been. If you can't see a future with them, don't waste your time. My ex was exactly like me, we never argued or anything, and he even talked about moving across the globe with me. We worked really well with each other, but it just clicked one day that I didn't want to spend my life with him.

There was no real "deal breaker" for say. I just couldn't see him as the guy I wanted to marry. Eventually, your relationship may fizzle on its own.

2. Treat your spouse with kindness.

Yup, I was moving across the country and neither of us had an interest in a long-distance relationship. It sucked at first, probably because we still talked a lot, but after a while it fizzled and I became occupied with other things. It's possible to keep them around as a casual acquaintance. My ex I dated in senior year of college was wonderful and we had a lot in common, but I knew it wasn't going to work out because we wanted to be in different locations after graduation and I'm a year older than him, so we were unsure if he'd ever be able to move to my location.

Sufism is not an ancient, bygone heritage. It is a living, breathing philosophy of life. It is applicable to the modern day. It teaches us to look within and transform ourselves, to diminish our egos. There are more and more people, especially women, artists, musicians, and so on, who are deeply interested in this culture.

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Could you talk about your own spiritual practice and its relation to your creative work? My interest in spirituality started when I was a college student.

At the time it was a bit odd for me to feel such an attraction. I did not grow up in a spiritual environment. My upbringing was just the opposite, it was strictly secular. And I was a leftist, anarcho-pacifist, slightly nihilist, and feminist, and so on, and so were most of my friends, and there was no apparent reason for me to be interested in Sufism or anything like that.

But I started reading about it. Not only Islamic mysticism but mysticisms of all kinds, because they are all reflections of the same universal quest for meaning and love. The more I read the more I unlearned. Unlearning is an essential part of learning, in my experience. We need to keep questioning our truths, our certainties, our dogmas, and ourselves.

❤ Your Story

This kind of introspective thinking, to me, is healthier than criticizing other people all the time. Has that reception differed significantly from how American readers have responded to the book? It was amazing, and so moving. In Turkey the novel was an all time bestseller. There was such positive, warm feedback from readers, especially from women readers, of all ages, of all views. Often the same book was read by more than one person, by the mother, the daughters, the great-aunt, a distant cousin.

The story reached different audiences. When the novel came out in Bulgaria, France, America, and Italy, I had similar reactions, and I still receive touching e-mails from readers around the world.

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In other words they share their personal stories with me. And I find that very humbling, very inspiring. Share: Share on Facebook. Add to Cart.


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Did your perception of Rumi and of Shams change in the course of writing about them? How do the two stories relate to and illuminate each other?

What are the pleasures of such narrative layering across time and space? How does love shake up their worlds and push them out of their comfort zones? What does the novel suggest about the challenges women faced—particularly in terms of relationships and spiritual aspirations—in medieval Islamic societies? In what ways does Ella change over the course of the novel?

In what ways does Rumi change? Does Ella make the right decision in choosing love and the present moment over security and the future? What would Shams think of her choice? In what ways are Sweet Blasphemy and The Forty Rules of Love both about the need to break free from conventions and the fear of the opinion of others, the desire for safety, respectability, and security?

What instances of defying convention stand out in the novel? What is the price to be paid for going against prevailing opinion? What is Shafak saying about the personal and imaginative potential of fiction?

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Have you had similarly transformative experiences from reading novels? What struggles do women face in the Islamic world of Sweet Blasphemy? In what ways do social conventions and religious stricture inhibit the lives of Kerra, Kimya, and Desert Rose the Harlot? What does the novel as whole say about love? Worked on a play.

Played World of Warcraft. Did some improv. Played a ton of the guitar.

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Really just had a wild, amazing year. What a world. By the time I finished reading, I realized that my non-phone hand was clutching tightly to my forehead, forcefully scrunching my forehead skin together. But instead of distancing myself from the horror, I soaked in it. I read it again and again, fascinated by how something could be so aggressively unappealing.

It comes down to a pretty simple rule:. A Facebook status is annoying if it primarily serves the author and does nothing positive for anyone reading it. To be not annoying, a Facebook status typically has to be one of two things:.